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--- 外国老人为何不带孙?这位外国老太太的说法值得反思 (http://www.calgarychinese.com/china8863/cgi-bin/forums.cgi?forum=70&topic=2530)


-- 作者: 孩子世界
-- 发布时间: 2018/03/16 01:09pm

<p style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><img class="" data-backh="558" data-backw="558" data-ratio="1" data-s="300,640" data-type="png" data-w="1080" src="https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/SL01kv8vjY2MMJL2nSsYbtyLzkCkDLjA8yichChPuwzlFP2ibRGSGFhiayAsHVPIuib9ftITje5QvmVrcicI8XFn6xQ/640?wx_fmt=png" style="width: 100%;height: auto;"  /></p><p style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 14px;color: rgb(110, 110, 110);">作者:幼儿说</span></strong></p><p style="margin-bottom: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;"><strong><span style="font-size: 14px;color: rgb(110, 110, 110);">来源:幼儿说</span></strong><span style="font-size: 14px;color: rgb(110, 110, 110);">(ID: bb-edu)</span></p><section class="" data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="88501" style="font-size: 16px;white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box;color: rgb(62, 62, 62);line-height: 25.6px;border-width: 0px;border-style: none;border-color: initial;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section data-width="100%" style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box;display: inline-block;width: 556.22px;vertical-align: top;border-width: 1px 4px 4px 1px;border-radius: 0px;border-style: solid;border-color: rgb(62, 62, 63);word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section class="" style="margin: 15px;max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><p><span style="font-size: 15px;color: rgb(0, 0, 0);letter-spacing: 1px;">陪伴孩子成长,才是作为一位母亲最大的责任。</span></p></section></section></section><p style="margin-top: 25px;"><mpvoice frameborder="0" class="res_iframe js_editor_audio audio_iframe" src="/cgi-bin/readtemplate?t=tmpl/audio_tmpl&amp;name=%E4%B8%BA%E4%BD%95%E5%A4%96%E5%9B%BD%E8%80%81%E4%BA%BA%E4%B8%8D%E5%B8%A6%E5%AD%99%EF%BC%9F&amp;play_length=11:25" isaac2="1" low_size="1351.87" source_size="1331.2" high_size="5364.76" name="为何外国老人不带孙?" play_length="685000" voice_encode_fileid="MjM5MDc0NTY2OF8yNjUxNDMyNTQy"></mpvoice></p><p style="text-align: center;margin-top: 15px;"><span style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);color: rgb(123, 139, 139);font-size: 12px;text-align: center;">♬; 点上方绿标可收听洞见主播春宴朗读音频</span></p><p style="text-align: center;margin-top: 15px;"><img class="__bg_gif" data-ratio="0.45454545454545453" data-w="22" src="https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_gif/tcBjXg0JL2SSF9cTk3LcEPmhbW5EGJVJKInqEyCgKRfYNK0kmbGGa65IIlk05BDCMq7vy6ICOZHnxCcibTcUDkQ/640?" width="auto" style="letter-spacing: 2px;font-family: 微软雅黑;white-space: pre-wrap;font-size: 15px;text-indent: 30px;color: rgb(255, 172, 170);line-height: 26.25px;vertical-align: middle;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;visibility: visible !important;width: 21.9886px !important;"  /></p><p style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;margin-top: 15px;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">最近,一同学从英国回来探亲,顺便带着她的洋老公和洋婆婆到中国旅游。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">同学有两个孩子,一个5岁,一个3岁,都是由她自己当全职妈妈养育着。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">同学的婆婆相当潇洒,自从退休后,单身一个人每隔半年到一个新的地方居住、写书,对人生有相当深刻的感悟。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">刚到中国时,她对中国的老人负责带孩子说了这样一句话:“这是对孩子最大的不负责任。”</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">在英国,一般都是妈妈生完孩子后就会离职,在家里当全职妈妈,直到孩子10-12岁再重新工作。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">因为没有了依赖,有了责任,所以无论多苦多累,她们全身心投入。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">而他们的老人也很识趣,不轻易打搅年轻人的生活。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">对于年轻人的育儿,他们一般也只充当参谋提供建议,不轻易干涉年轻人的行为和方法。</span></p><p style="margin: 20px 8px 25px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">为啥他们坚持要让母亲亲自带孩子?这位外国老太太给幼儿说小编列了三个原因:</span></p><section class="" data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="90386" data-color="rgb(216, 40, 33)" style="font-size: 16px;white-space: normal;line-height: 25.6px;max-width: 100%;color: rgb(62, 62, 62);background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section data-width="100%" style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section data-role="outer" label="Powered by 135editor.com" style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section data-mpa-template="t" class="" mpa-paragraph-type="ignored" data-mpa-powered-by="yiban.io" style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section data-mpa-template="t" class="" mpa-paragraph-type="ignored" style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section data-author="Wxeditor" style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><article class="" data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin: 5px auto;max-width: 100%;font-size: 14px;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section class="" data-wxsrc="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_gif/v4vz52CcB13JzTTXXg3mC439fK28gxRKDGnzLBX1Rm1yvuZYaVibibFLKzjw28tc48iayicA2r0TE0gF98zAZsJnDQ/0" style="margin-right: auto;margin-left: auto;max-width: 100%;width: 45px;height: 45px;background-image: url(&quot;https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_gif/v4vz52CcB13JzTTXXg3mC439fK28gxRKDGnzLBX1Rm1yvuZYaVibibFLKzjw28tc48iayicA2r0TE0gF98zAZsJnDQ/640&quot;);background-size: 100%;background-repeat: no-repeat;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin-right: auto;margin-left: auto;max-width: 100%;text-align: center;font-size: 16px;font-weight: 700;line-height: 45px;color: rgb(255, 255, 255);box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><p style="max-width: 100%;min-height: 1em;border-width: 0px;border-style: initial;border-color: initial;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;">01</p></section></section></article></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><ul class=" list-paddingleft-2" style="list-style-type: circle;"><li><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">孩子由母亲自己带,更利于成长。</span></strong></p></li></ul><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">妈妈亲自养育孩子长大,这是对孩子最大的爱。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(139, 123, 123);">母亲在孩子成长中的陪伴,是孩子获取安全感的重要来源,也是孩子养成良好性格和健康心理的前提。</span></strong></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">中国的留守儿童带来心理上的孤独和性格上的缺陷值得父母们深思。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">赚钱是一个永远也没有止境的事儿,而孩子却瞬间就会长大。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">离开孩子或将孩子丢给老人带,美其名曰是为了让孩子有个美好的未来,但孩子成长的那关键几年母爱的缺失,将是孩子一辈子都难以愈合的伤害。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">因为这种伤害导致孩子们缺乏安全感、内向、自卑、忧郁、敏感……亲子关系疏远并且永远也不能修复。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">除了母亲的角色,父亲的角色对孩子的成长也很重要。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">所以英国一般都有家庭日,在这天,爸爸什么也不干,就陪伴孩子玩耍、郊游或打橄榄球等。</span></p><p style="margin: 20px 8px 25px;text-align: justify;"><img class="" data-backh="349" data-backw="542" data-ratio="0.6444444444444445" data-s="300,640" data-type="png" data-w="1080" src="https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/SL01kv8vjY2MMJL2nSsYbtyLzkCkDLjAOTstGafbkBJK44Le1WEdHjZOnJD2ndNRxGdGOibewdIuYNicf1W8QpaQ/640?wx_fmt=png" style="width: 100%;height: auto;"  /></p><section class="" data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="90386" data-color="rgb(216, 40, 33)" style="font-size: 16px;white-space: normal;line-height: 25.6px;max-width: 100%;color: rgb(62, 62, 62);background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section data-width="100%" style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section data-role="outer" label="Powered by 135editor.com" style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section data-mpa-template="t" class="" mpa-paragraph-type="ignored" data-mpa-powered-by="yiban.io" style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section data-mpa-template="t" class="" mpa-paragraph-type="ignored" style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section data-author="Wxeditor" style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><article class="" data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin: 5px auto;max-width: 100%;font-size: 14px;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section class="" data-wxsrc="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_gif/v4vz52CcB13JzTTXXg3mC439fK28gxRKDGnzLBX1Rm1yvuZYaVibibFLKzjw28tc48iayicA2r0TE0gF98zAZsJnDQ/0" style="margin-right: auto;margin-left: auto;max-width: 100%;width: 45px;height: 45px;background-image: url(&quot;https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_gif/v4vz52CcB13JzTTXXg3mC439fK28gxRKDGnzLBX1Rm1yvuZYaVibibFLKzjw28tc48iayicA2r0TE0gF98zAZsJnDQ/640&quot;);background-size: 100%;background-repeat: no-repeat;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin-right: auto;margin-left: auto;max-width: 100%;text-align: center;font-size: 16px;font-weight: 700;line-height: 45px;color: rgb(255, 255, 255);box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><p style="max-width: 100%;min-height: 1em;border-width: 0px;border-style: initial;border-color: initial;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;">02</p></section></section></article></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><ul class=" list-paddingleft-2" style="list-style-type: circle;"><li><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">隔代教育,会爆发矛盾和冲突。</span></strong></p></li></ul><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">母亲是孩子生命中的第一任老师,也是最重要的老师,总想着把最优秀的性格和习惯教给孩子。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">但是怎么样的才算优秀?</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">年轻的一代人跟老一代又有不同的判断标准。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">中国的老一代是当年受苦受难的一代,他们的做事风格和行为习惯注定带着当年的影儿,而中国年轻的一代处在知识大爆炸的时代,各种信息随手拈来,带着西方味儿的、日本味儿的、新时代味儿的……矛盾和冲突就来了。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">家庭是老人充当带孩子主力的,如果年轻的妈妈们还抱怨“怎么跟自己设想的不一样”,是不是有点要求过高了?</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">因为一切没有按照你的想法进行,那是因为你没有成为养育孩子的主力。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">对年轻的妈妈来说,当你深陷隔代教育的冲突中时,不妨这样想,教育其实没有绝对的对与错,新一代的也将会被更新一代的教育理念所替代,所以你的方法和想法也不一定就是最好的。</span></p><p style="margin: 20px 8px 25px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;"><img class="" data-backh="542" data-backw="542" data-ratio="1" data-s="300,640" data-type="png" data-w="1080" src="https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/SL01kv8vjY2MMJL2nSsYbtyLzkCkDLjAqWwWtiadTHLibE8ibkTcdWcd0mrR2rjRFC63B2Rh3Dt3OoYb44DY3zIhw/640?wx_fmt=png" style="text-align: justify;white-space: normal;width: 100%;height: auto;"  /></span></p><section class="" data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="90386" data-color="rgb(216, 40, 33)" style="font-size: 16px;white-space: normal;line-height: 25.6px;max-width: 100%;color: rgb(62, 62, 62);background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section data-width="100%" style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section data-role="outer" label="Powered by 135editor.com" style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section data-mpa-template="t" class="" mpa-paragraph-type="ignored" data-mpa-powered-by="yiban.io" style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section data-mpa-template="t" class="" mpa-paragraph-type="ignored" style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section data-author="Wxeditor" style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><article class="" data-author="Wxeditor" style="margin: 5px auto;max-width: 100%;font-size: 14px;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section class="" data-wxsrc="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_gif/v4vz52CcB13JzTTXXg3mC439fK28gxRKDGnzLBX1Rm1yvuZYaVibibFLKzjw28tc48iayicA2r0TE0gF98zAZsJnDQ/0" style="margin-right: auto;margin-left: auto;max-width: 100%;width: 45px;height: 45px;background-image: url(&quot;https://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_gif/v4vz52CcB13JzTTXXg3mC439fK28gxRKDGnzLBX1Rm1yvuZYaVibibFLKzjw28tc48iayicA2r0TE0gF98zAZsJnDQ/640&quot;);background-size: 100%;background-repeat: no-repeat;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="margin-right: auto;margin-left: auto;max-width: 100%;text-align: center;font-size: 16px;font-weight: 700;line-height: 45px;color: rgb(255, 255, 255);box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;"><p style="max-width: 100%;min-height: 1em;border-width: 0px;border-style: initial;border-color: initial;box-sizing: border-box !important;word-wrap: break-word !important;">03</p></section></section></article></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><ul class=" list-paddingleft-2" style="list-style-type: circle;"><li><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">外国老人都有晚年计划。</span></strong></p></li></ul><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">中国的老人很空虚,很明显的表现在退休的老人身上。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">有些老人退休后,从充满活力的一个人似乎突然变了另外一个人,有些甚至一下子得了老人痴呆。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">因为退休前,日子推着自己走,而退休后没有了后面“推”的动力,就像片没有方向感的落叶。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">没有了寄托,这时他们会变得敏感甚至自怜,并开始关注起家庭细微琐碎的事情上来,也把自己生命的价值寄托在年轻人对自己的尊重和重要性上面来。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">不拖累不打搅不道德绑架,外国老人自己找乐子,自己安排晚年生活,旅游、写书,甚至只是在社区当义工,料理花园当个勤劳的园丁都能把小日子过得津津有味。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">这也是中国的婆媳关系始终不能化解的根源。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">当然,导致中国老人不得不帮带孩子这一原因的,还有社会福利问题。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">不少国家的妈妈生完孩子后会有政府资金的补贴。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">而中国却没有,那些没有买社保的不仅生孩子要自己掏钱,如果没积蓄不上班了一家老小的生活都成问题。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">如果有钱,谁会选择离开自己的孩子?如果有钱,谁会把孩子丢给老人?这的确是一个短期内难以解决的问题!</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">对于中国的上班族妈咪们来说,看来就只能上班时好好上班,下班后好好陪伴孩子了。</span></p><p style="margin-top: 20px;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;text-align: justify;"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(139, 123, 123);">但无论多难,也千万别轻易跟孩子分隔两地,因为陪伴孩子成长,才是作为一位母亲最大的责任!</span></strong></p>


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